Convict workouts are, by far, the best builders of functional fitness, period. How do we know this…cause these guys have fight off legions of freaks, zombies and haters every day just to keep their cherry from being popped in the shower. It works because this is the real-world example of
Functional fitness encompasses all potential benefits of exercise in one system;
all ONE WORKOUT, in as little as 20 minutes, seriously. And, these guys get yoked eating white bread and green bologna sandwiches cause your not gonna find Creatine and BAAC smoothies on cell block D. How the hell is that possible? It’s the workout, some predator genetics and a mindset that is literally about life and death survival, day in, day out.
We are going to break down this insane workout for you cause we got hold of the actually daily workout routine of a group of white supremacists from a maximum security prison in California housing some of the most violent offenders and gang members in the country! First, a quick
The Los Angeles County Jail is the largest jail in the country typically housing 10,000 inmates at any given time. It’s a zoo, a total pit of animals where it's literally kill or be killed. The prison officials were seriously concerned because so many prisoners were getting HUGE lifting weights all day. Cell extractions, where they get 5 guards together to remove a dude who wants to fight, would take an average of 60 seconds and usually everyone got hurt. To stop the carnage, they decided to take the weights away. Federal law says these guys must have an exercise period, so they went from weights to body weight calisthenics and guess what…the nightmare got worse. The prisoners got#link_2420104
RIPPED AND FREAKISHLY STRONG
Cell extractions went up to 6 minutes on average! Yep, turns out weights are good for show muscles, but when it comes to true, functional, fighting for your life, ass kicking fitness, bodyweight exercises are king. So, in no particular order, let's introduce you to the workout and a challenge; if you can do this sucker complete start to finish out of the box, you’re a certified stud Brother.
While this is a No Princess Zone we do need to offer a caution. You need to be in, at minimum, moderate shape to handle even a short version of this workout Brothers. No kidding, this one is not a place to start, but rather a place to take you to the next level. We strongly urge you to get clearance from a medical professional before beginning any vigorous exercise program and this one puts the V in Vigorous.
THE BASIC SETUP
There are not fancy Insanity or PX90 exercises here; it is simple, old-school, brutal exercises that work the whole body quickly and efficiently. The number or repetitions for each exercise usually runs around 20 but you can modify to suit your current fitness level. The exercise period on the yard is 60 minutes, but again you can modify and HEAR THIS LOUD AND CLEAR; you can get amazing benefits doing this workout for only 20 minutes every day, it's no joke.
For whatever amount of time you do have to exercise, you only rest 15 SECONDS between sets. Basically, you take the core exercises below and jam as many in as you can in the time you set aside for a more or less continuous full-body exercise program. You don't need any equipment, just your body, but if you have access to a pull-up bar, that's a bonus and of course you can find things to pull up on everywhere, especially playgrounds.
BURPEE, THE MOTHER OF ALL EXERCISES
The foundation of any prison workout is the burpee. Revered because it is, in and of itself, a totally body workout stepped in the principles of functional fitness AND it can be done in small, confined spaces like a 5 x 8 prison cell. However, the prison burpee is no ordinary burpee, it's on freak'n steroids. Here's how you get on;
Start in a standing position. Drop straight down so your feet are still on the floor, knees fully bent, ass on caves, and hands on the floor in a pushup position. Contract the abs hard and while keeping your hands on the floor in the pushup position kick your legs straight back so you are in a pushup plank position.
Then keeping the core engaged, kick your legs apart so they are in the shape of a V, toes still on the ground like your gonna do a pushup, and then kick your legs back to the plank position. Now do one to ten pushups (ten is stud level).
After completing your pushups then contract your abs again and while keeping your hands on the floor, jump back to the position you were in before your kicked your legs back into the first plank. Then, explosively, drive upward with your legs and leap off the ground as high as you can, reaching your arms as high over your head as possible.
As gravity pulls you back to earth and your feet touch the ground take your fists and drive them as hard into your contracted abs as hard as you can possibly stand. That's One! Immediately go for the next rep…20 reps and your fist set is done and if your not used to these, you might be done right here!
15 seconds of rest, just enough time to puke, before your start;
Named after fitness Icon Jack Lalanne, these are truly a staple, but of course the prison version is just that much more brutal. We've all done a jumping jack, arms and legs moving in sync, legs apart, arms clapping overhead, legs together, arms to the sides. The only difference here is you do them as fast as you possibly can and you do 50 straight. Sound easy? Not a freaking chance Brothers cause after all those burpees you are sucking air hard.
15 seconds of rest, second round of ab pumping puking, and…
SQUATS WITH CALF RAISE
Just like it sounds, keep your feet hip width apart as you squat down parallel or deeper (careful on the knees here). At the bottom arms are held straight out in front of you. Then, immediately and powerfully drive up to a standing position.
As you reach the top, thrust your pelvis forward and squeeze your ass cheeks together like your trying to crack a walnut in there (buns of steel will be yours and as an added bonus you can snap a rapists man-hood off clean if you get pinned down in the shower…just say'n).
Then, to finish, raise up on your toes to engage the calves for a maximum contraction. As you drop back to the starting position smoothly move into your next rep. Crank these hard and fast like a piston. 25 reps is OK, 50 is good, 100 is awesome and 250 is gonna get you tree trunks fast!
15 seconds of rest as you contemplate how death might now be a better option.
Get into a position like you're going to sprint out of the blocks. Arms in a pushup position, palms flat on the ground, fingers forward. One leg tucked up, foot flat on the floor and the other straight back on your toes. Simply trade the leg positions, one forward, and one back, and contract your abs hard for the entire 20 heart pounding reps. Doesn't sound like much? Anything you say Sparky.
15 seconds of rest and if you have anything left in the tank…
PULL SUCKER PULL
Classic exercise for functional strength, pull ups rock it, but of course our friends have an added sadistic twist to take it up a notch. Start your pull up (you can vary the grip and should do it from many different angles) and rip it hard, as fast as possible to the top position.
As you reach the maximum top position, contract your abs and bring your knees up as high as you can. Relax the knees, lower down and do it again and again, 20 reps or failure, whichever comes first (were bett'n failure at this point).
For an added treat, you can combine squats or burpees with pullups. Just squat down and as you drive up, leap into the air grab the bar, do the pullup and knee up, then drop down into the next squat or burpee. We have a definite love/hate relationship with this addition, but in and of itself, if you just did this one technique, the whole body is gonna get swole, cut and jacked.
REPEAT...ARE YOU F'N KIDD'N ME?
Yep, back to the start for round II. The idea is to get as far as you can in your exercise period of time. One thing we can absolutely guarantee, if you do this for 20 minutes or more a day for 30 days you are going to be a BAD ASS! And if you can make it to 60 minutes consistently, congratulations, you have achieved Convict status. Oh, and just so we are clear, in prison they train 7 days a week, 365! Damn…IMPRESSIVE.
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Ok Brothers, tie for some sharing. This is where we can all feature our favorite, outstanding and unique exercises. Show us your stuff and don't be afraid to link back to a website if you have one, we are all about providing excellent content, Man-Style.
Let's get something straight right off the bat - if you are looking for a website that specializes in promoting cucumber and Amazon Rain Forest Monkey-Stuff facials, you definitely are in the wrong place! This is about the MOST precious thing you own as a man. No, its not your steel reinforced man-pole...although that IS a close second. This is about your health and wellness, and we aren't gonna dance around anyone's delicate sensibilities when it comes to speaking our truth on something that is, quite literally, a mater of life and death!
Slay that Inner-Princess and MAN-UP Brother, cause the rides about to begin!